In the UK for an IT Conference II

Sequels usually don’t turn out well, but people still buy them in hope, and it’s usually an opportunity to sell one good movie for the price of two… so I can oblige (especially since it is by popular demand)… Here goes:

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There is something off about Karen, and I finally put my finger on it. It’s her voice. Although I don’t doubt that she’s been in the UK for 3-4 years having finished her Masters and halfway through ACCA classes, her voice sounds like some Nne in Aba trying to sell me a pair of jeans. Not impressive. Because you people were wondering about her I’d decided to call her, and I did last night. Got her voice mail, so sent her a text and she called me back soon afterwards. We just talked about this and that… I have a growing list of hangouts with friends this coming weekend before I get back, so we’ll have to see if Ms. K makes that list. If I get to see her, I’ll jibe her about her voice, for her own good.

I’m meeting very interesting people. We’re also all warming up to one another and that’s great. I had several interactions with Dave (Canada) today. He’s in my group, and our friendship started after he nominated me to make a presentation on behalf of our group during the training sessions. I seemed to impress him and we got it going since. He used to work undercover with the Canadian police and said one of the feathers to his cap back in Canada was the capture of a notorious Nigerian Nna drug pusher I’ll just call Sam. He’d walked up to Sam and asked to buy heroine. Sam was initially suspicious but soon started dishing out the powder. At a point Sam beamed and said “I’m the man. I knew from the start that you were an OK guy. I can smell a cop from far away”. The daft idiot apparently had lost his sense of smell without knowing it, as he was arrested a few days later.

Wilhelm is from Germany, and used to work with the Secret Service (spent 18 years in the Middle East), and then the United Nations before joining the company. Hans is from Holland and he loves Africa; spends every possible holiday in Tanzania, Gambia, Ghana, etc. I told him to try Calabar, but with family! Ed was invited to train us and he is presently Top Security guy for a major multinational. He’s American and used to work with the FBI. He seemed a bit lofty but I accepted his card. He’s into cyber crime so we talked a bit about Yahoo! Boys.

Ji Hwa (Korean) is another member of my group. She’s very petite but loves Guinness Stout. She carries the glass (more like a jug) with a lot of passion and drinks it like tea. She is a “great woman”. I asked her what her favourite meal was. I can’t remember what she called it (it sounded like merci beaucoup) but it comprises spiced octopus and vegetables. I’ve managed to stay away since.

Feeding has been OK. I can eat anything and all the veal and lamb and apricots have been nice, actually. We had a lovely barbeque on a beautiful lawn this evening. Stefan the Bulgarian is the youngest at 26 and I’m next. Everybody else is over thirty, mostly in their 50s. Stefan confided in me yesterday that he hated the food (that was when a waitress laid the starter in front of us: slices of French bread and olive oil). He said his favourite meal was meat balls (and he insisted that it wasn’t with spaghetti). One more thing… Apparently, Bulgarians nod when they mean no, and shake their heads when they mean yes. I think that’s wrong but that’s how it is. That probably explains why we beat them in USA ’94.

I’m having a bit of a challenge catching on as per the drinking but I’m surviving. We drink before, during and after every meal, except for breakfast. I’ve found my niche with red/white wine (goes well with the meaty stuff actually) as well as Jack Daniels (with Orange Juice). I visit the coke dispenser often (the 1.5l coke is wasting away, I’m afraid) to balance things up. And then there’s my favourite Irish Cream on Ice!

Oh and there’s the multi-Coffee dispenser (it dispenses Café du Lait, Cappuccino, Expresso, Hot chocolate, etc. etc.). At first, I stared at it for about five minutes before moving closer and then my IT skills went to work. I put my cup under the tap and stared at the 7-or-so buttons. Picked Cappuccino, and pressed the button. The thing hummed, shuddered and started filling my cup. Now a small puzzle: was it my responsibility or the dispenser’s to know when the cup was full? By this time the brewed tea was getting to the brim and still dripping in fast. I looked behind me and someone was waiting, so I panicked and pressed the flashing Cappuccino button again. I shouldn’t have… Thankfully the dispenser didn’t take it that I wanted another cup. They won’t kill me in this place.

Don’t expect a Part 3!