In the UK for an IT Conference I

I had to write something about how today went...

I arrived at Heathrow and it took 40 minutes to find my baggage. Was beginning to think of a Plan B, whatever that might be. My new friend was amused at my concern (Karen - from Edo; 4yrs in UK; Masters in Accounting; on her ACCA; refused to confirm her age but looked 16; returning from holiday - had walked up to me at the MMIA and asked if we could tag along together for the long plane trip. She didn't look like she was carrying drugs or WMD so I smiled and said I wouldn't mind. You'd make the same decision if you saw her. Fortunately the seat next to her on the plane was vacant so...). A Moroccan picked me up from the airport (he'd been in UK for 10 years) and dropped me off at the Horsley Court, Surrey.

Everything was soooo orderly it was boring (the only expectedly wierd thing so far was cars driving on the wrong side of the road... have to get used to that). My room was ready and lovely. There's an HDTV and an iPod docket. I have a connection directly to the company network from my room. A sign in the convenience explained that the toilet was designed to accept toilet paper. Duh. They have a great gym, jogging trails, internet access with free printing... it's said in the guide that they have a five-a-side football pitch!! I'll check that out for sure. I might just get a chance at nicking Premiership. Another sign apologised that the swimming pool was out of order because of the incessant rains, but if I wanted they could call me a cab to take me to the nearest pool, for free. God save the Queen!

All that was good. I needed to cut my nails, so I walked through the entire Court and found nowhere that sold anything. I asked the receptionist and she said I could find a supermarket somewhere down the road. Ten minutes' walk. I found a supermarket a boringly exact 10 minutes later but they sold only Indian food. I bought a 1.5l coke. I decided to walk the other way (about 20 minutes) and found a Total filling station. I bought a couple of biscuits for good measure. Then I approached the sales clerk and asked if they had a nailcutter. He said no. Blade? He gave me a suspicious look. I promptly paid for the biscuits and fled. I spent the remaining 10 minutes of my walk biting my nails off. I entered Horsley Court and chanced upon a Coke-Fanta-Schweppes dispenser... all I had to do was take a cup and press the lever. And it was free. I looked at my 1.5l coke in despair. £1,50 of ignorance.

Drinks and dinner at 7pm. I had my bath, dressed casually as the course demanded and walked downstairs. I met Chev (the Organiser, a she! I had a different picture in my mind) and she asked me what I wanted to drink. I panicked. What do I drink?! I looked at the nearest bottle (couldn't tell what the label said at the time) and pointed at it. It happened to be a 275ml vol. Becks. I pretended to like it. In fact, I pretended that I drank Becks everyday. We all got introduced, about 20 delegates from all over. The names didn't work for me, so I'll just use country names. Mr. Australia (OK, that's Brian) spent 13 hours getting in. Mr. Japan never took alcohol before in his life. I never experienced snow (all this was conversation) before in my life. There was Singapore, Viet Nam, South Korea, Finland, ... Frank M (my Global IT Security Manager - was a Spurs fan so we got into a bit of an argument. I begged him not to tell Nick Proctor - Group Head of Security, Spurs fan also, in attendance - that I was a Gunner). We talked sports for a while. I felt a bit carefree. The Becks helped. Then Sir. Segun O, a colleague from the office, walked in and I wanted to hug and kiss him. He was here on another course and would probably still be around after I'd left. He exchanged room numbers and he left with his own Marketing friends. Whoopie!

I made a mistake in choosing who to sit with for dinner. Nick "Spurs"and friends. Friends being other IT Security top guns, our trainers. Gareth to my left likes deep sea diving and enjoys the company of sharks. Rudi opposite me says his girlfriend just got him a sky/ bungee jumping kit (someone asked if everything was OK between them). Nick says he's trying to find something exhilarating to do. I thought about my life and couldn't think up anything riskier I'd done recently than ride on an Okada. Then we talked about Security and EHS and our IT Services Company, etc. etc. We had a three-course dinner and some red wine. The main course I chose was lamb with potato squash and slices of boiled pawpaw (that's what I'd call it). Tasted nice (I'd have enjoyed it more with a bit more salt, but I decided to stay away from the mysterious looking salt shaker), but I still thank God for those biscuits I bought.

I chatted with a few more geeks after dinner but soon decided to turn in. It was almost 10pm but it looked more like 6pm. I passed Segun on a round table having a drink with his Marketing friends, mostly female. He was saying something about Congo DR... for crying out loud. What had he been drinking?